Stop the Funny Train

I would like to get off.

Dance Master

I really enjoyed taking Intro to Ballroom Dance at my neighborhood arts center. It was challenging but I was glad to meet some friendly people in my neighborhood while learning a little bit about Cha Cha, Waltz, Tango, Swing and even a few new things about myself.

For one thing, I have an aversion to being held by strangers, which I didn’t realize was “unnatural “until I took the class. I am apparently an anomaly in a group-Waltz setting because unlike 98% of women under the age of 70, I really dislike being engulfed by old men with big feet who smell like ham. I’ve also determined that I am not comfortable being steered around in circles, in a mirrored room, with spotlights shining in my face. I guess I’m more of a visual person. I had a hard time with those particular facets of kinetic learning.

Followers (i.e. ladies, me) are not encouraged to tell leaders (i.e. old men who smell like ham) that they are doing everything wrong. It is also not okay to laugh at or infer that anyone in the class “looks really stupid” doing anything, not even yourself.

What I liked most about ballroom dancing is that you don’t have to look your partner in eye. I think. In any case, I’ve been meditating on an awful lot of shirt collars over the past nine weeks. Ballroom principles do not adhere to the tried and true empirical laws of survival such as “every man for himself” and although some of the footwork translates, ballroom dancing is actually not a martial art.

To that end, it is not acceptable “psyche out” your dance partner when they want to go in a new direction, nor is it common to hunch over in an effort to keep your body as far as possible from your partner’s. I would enjoy partner dancing that much more if my partner would mind their own business, read a book or something, let me listen to my IPod, and stop breathing in my ear.

No Complaints

I’ve had my whole life handed to me on a silver platter. I guess I’m pretty lucky. Some people have their whole lives handed to them on a stick.