Dear Lord:

I haven’t prayed since I was I was six-years-old and foolish enough to believe that if I asked you for a 24 pack of crayons and a dirt bike, the next day you might deliver.

Now I know better. I know that if I am ever going to buy into you, I need to pray for more important things; things that no human being could ever deliver on – like clearing up the acne around my chin. I’ll save that for a time when I’ve been especially good. In the meantime, I think the best way for you and I to get reacquainted would me for me to start giving thanks for all that I’ve gained since we last spoke.

Thanks for that snow day. And thanks for giving me my health. I don’t take for granted that I haven’t lost both my legs, all my parts work, and that, technically, I don't have VD.
Thank you for giving me friends. Thank you for my Mom and Dad. Thank you for Stars and Stripes Fruit Mist Tangerine Lime Naturally Flavored Sparkling Water Beverage.

I guess that’s about it.

Later I'll hit you up with some of the things I need forgiveness for. Until then, please keep my legs in tact. Oh, and please bless all the people that matter.


-Olga