A leggy brunette is sitting in an office chair and shoving her foot into Steve’s mouth as he lies motionless beneath her. Slavesteve is a 36 WM professional, handsome, tall and willing to please…He is also married to the brunette but looking for “open minded people who enjoy and appreciate this life style.”
Thanks to my public profile on MySpace, he’s determined that we live in the same neighborhood and has requested to be my friend. In a moment of hesitation, I consider whether he’s looking for people who appreciate his lifestyle of the lifestyle of his wife. I can see a portion of his face from around polished red toenails. Steve looks an awful lot like my previous boss from the gallery downtown.
And I realize that it is time to make my profile private. My life would be simpler if there were no social web portals and everyone just minded their own business. I would probably have my PhD by now. I might’ve been the President.
In tangible reality, minding your own business is easy. All you need is a bunch of hair. You put it over your face and then you don’t have to pretend that you’re not looking at people because you actually can’t see anyone. This will give you a little more focus to your "zone," making it that much easier to mind your own business.
It can be hard to keep your eyes forward. So wear headphones if you can. Steal a hug from your friend before you walk home and avoid the toe-suckers. If you have to go out in public, sit in a coffee shop and read something interesting enough to keep you focused but innocuous enough to discourage strangers from asking about it. Make eye contact with no one. Try to stay away from being bogged down with getting caught up in being distracted. Mind your own business.
The only problem with minding your own business is that it can get awfully dull behind all that hair. Eventually you may need to sneeze. Or offer directions to someone who looks confused. Or see if your ex has updated their profile to reflect your recent break up. Or assure Mary Kate Olsen's fan-base that there are only 3 calories in a blow job.
Did you know you can get everything from crystal meth to hookers on Craig’s list?
Thanks to my public profile on MySpace, he’s determined that we live in the same neighborhood and has requested to be my friend. In a moment of hesitation, I consider whether he’s looking for people who appreciate his lifestyle of the lifestyle of his wife. I can see a portion of his face from around polished red toenails. Steve looks an awful lot like my previous boss from the gallery downtown.
And I realize that it is time to make my profile private. My life would be simpler if there were no social web portals and everyone just minded their own business. I would probably have my PhD by now. I might’ve been the President.
In tangible reality, minding your own business is easy. All you need is a bunch of hair. You put it over your face and then you don’t have to pretend that you’re not looking at people because you actually can’t see anyone. This will give you a little more focus to your "zone," making it that much easier to mind your own business.
It can be hard to keep your eyes forward. So wear headphones if you can. Steal a hug from your friend before you walk home and avoid the toe-suckers. If you have to go out in public, sit in a coffee shop and read something interesting enough to keep you focused but innocuous enough to discourage strangers from asking about it. Make eye contact with no one. Try to stay away from being bogged down with getting caught up in being distracted. Mind your own business.
The only problem with minding your own business is that it can get awfully dull behind all that hair. Eventually you may need to sneeze. Or offer directions to someone who looks confused. Or see if your ex has updated their profile to reflect your recent break up. Or assure Mary Kate Olsen's fan-base that there are only 3 calories in a blow job.
Did you know you can get everything from crystal meth to hookers on Craig’s list?
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